Thoughts

Over the past few days I've had a lot of thoughts running through my head of the blessing of my children and the importance of being a mother and wondering if I'm good enough.  It is such a huge responsibility caring for children and it is especially a big change going from 1 to 2 children and I'm sure I'll feel even a heavier responsibility as 3, 4 and maybe more bless our home.  Too many times I feel like I'm short on patience and feeling like a bad mother for not giving my children enough attention, activities or time.  Questions like these often come to my head:

Am I giving the attention and love to my children that they deserve?  Am I being a good example of Christ's love?  Am I teaching them good habits and encouraging them to be good and do good things?  Too many times I feel discouraged by that one bad day or moment where I got mad too easily and didn't spend enough time with Josh.  Jake and I were looking back at old videos of Josh (you can see them here, here, and here) and it really made me sad to see that the past year has whizzed past me.  One year ago that boy was just a little baby, so full of life.  Did I spend enough time with him? Did I savor the moments with my him or am I just living to get through the day? 

I know that thoughts like these often cross mothers' minds.  I think that they are inevitable, but I've read some great articles/talks that have really inspired to be better and do better.  One was from this most recent General Conference and it was by Boyd K. Packer entitled "And a Little Child Shall Lead Them".  It gave me a good reminder and perspective on the fact that family is what is most important and dedication to them will bless you in the eternities.  I also read this post "Your Children Want You" and was encouraged that it doesn't matter if you have a "pinterest" perfect life, or look or sing the most beautiful.  My children want and love me!  They won't remember the tiny details of perfect hair, clothes, home decor and food.  They will remember me and the time that I gave to them and giving them their beautiful life.  

This encouraged me to care less about my time social networking, blogging or pinning and care more about prioritizing the time in my life; giving time and attention to my husband and children and truly savoring the moments I have with them, because before I know it another year will pass by.  I'm in no way saying that it's not important to develop myself as an individual and have hobbies and interests, but I think that some time management will help me in the long run.  Once I give time to my family, and focus on the eternal perspective together, reading scriptures, family prayer, activities with my kids and developing myself individually and spiritually then I can give more time to those other things, but these need to happen first.  I don't get to have another "today"!