Last night I had a very vivid dream that Joshua had died. It felt so realistic and so when I awoke I couldn't help but break into tears and wake Jake up so that he could comfort me. I checked on Josh and lied awake in bed for the next hour going through that dream and my feelings throughout. It was one of the most unpleasant feelings of my life. But as I look back it made me want to be a better mom. It made me take a look onto how I'm doing as a parent to my son. It made me hope that I can do better for him and give him the best childhood and life possibly. It gave me a new spirit to want to give him my all and attention. I know that I'm not perfect, but I'm grateful that I can always do better and work towards perfection. I'm also grateful to have this sweet boy in my life. He has blessed my life more than I could ever imagine.
On a lighter note, the monster trucks came to Yakima. After Joshua's new found obsession of watching them on the computer and T.V. we figured we would try and take him to the rally this weekend. Good thing we stopped by the auto dealership in town to look at them up close, because it turns out he was terrified of them. He was clinging to dad as they drove past and did NOT want to be set down. If you tried to get close or set him down he broke into tears. Maybe by the time he's 3 he'll be able to handle seeing them in person. Until then, good thing there is T.V.
As another side note, Josh is really slowly growing in his vocabulary, but my new favorite thing that he says is "ri-dere" a.k.a "right there". He points to things everywhere that he knows when we ask where they are. It is the cutest thing I've ever seen. I should get a video of it.
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